just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
