Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
