I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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