she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
