i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
