i just wanna soil my oats bro
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize