From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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