Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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