and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
