I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm at about main and main street
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
