chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize