ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
