She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
