Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
