Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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