If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It's no shave November. This is our time.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
