I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
