If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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