Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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