I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
