for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
