Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
