And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize