When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
