I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
