it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
