I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
