The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
