The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
