So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
