how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
