i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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