I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
