about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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