But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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