Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
