Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
