Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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