i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
