i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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