I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
