Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i will never coherently bang her
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
