I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
