why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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