4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
zippers are such a cool invention
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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