Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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