In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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