The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
