it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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