I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
