How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
