He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
