Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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