stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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