I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Say something about gay babies.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
That was before I lit my hair on fire
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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