So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
