Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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