Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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