Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i think my mom watched the whole time
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
