You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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