There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
