he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
