Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize