Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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